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Coming of Age Around the Country
Coming of Age Around the Country is our blog about what people 50+ are doing, dreaming, and making happen in their communities.
Posted By Dr. Thelma Reese on Jan 13, 2012
For this reader, who is beyond the Second Adulthood described and encouraged by examples in How We Love Now, Suzanne Braun Levine’s new book is a wonderful and informing look into the lives of our children’s generations. It lets us see and appreciate their worlds and the choices open to them. I know I’ll be ordering copies for my own 50-something daughters. It’s a necessary book for women who, as we in our older years certainly find, have to look among themselves for role models, because they are occupying new terrain and treading new paths their mothers hadn’t known.
From her days as the first editor of Ms., through her trail-blazing examinations of the changes women have experienced through aging in a changing world, Levine has tracked and reflected upon what it can mean to reach the 5th, 6th, and 7th decades our foremothers never dreamed of -if we’re lucky and smart. (Her earlier books, Inventing the Rest of Our Lives and Fifty Is the New Fifty are pathfinders in defining life for Boomer women.) How We Love Now helps women be smart by presenting many examples of life-choices less bound by social opprobrium today than ever before.
In Levine’s latest book, through research, her own journalistic prowess, and the engaging stories of many women, she etches a reassuring picture of the many forms love can take in the lives of women. While sex and intimacy are major themes, experiences of love through friendships, family, work, inside and outside of marriage, and on and off the Internet are all explored vividly, but dispassionately. No judging or scolding here! As she says, “The most liberating insight of Second Adulthood is that You Are Not Who You Were, Only Older.” Without suggesting there is a right or wrong way that applies to everyone, the author helps us count the ways we give and receive love, and they can change or deepen as we reach an age of greater reflection and self-knowledge.
The “Now” in the title refers to this time of self- discovery and acceptance, when we really know ourselves and realize that growth and learning are ongoing. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Our changing demographics tell us that now we have a lot more time to examine our lives and discover who we really are – to make our lives truly worth living. In this book, we meet women who have made decisions about how to move on in life that were rarely contemplated by their mothers: leaving husbands; finding new romances; making radically different career choices; examining family roles and relationships and finding the strength to confront them when they no longer fit. ” She looks realistically at the relationship between mothers and daughters, the gulf that so often exists between generations, and emerges, thanks to the gift of time and self-knowledge, on the side of understanding and compassion for both mothers and daughters.
Readers will find the Resources section a useful annotated list of web sites aimed at women entering and experiencing their Encore years.
Dr.Thelma Reese
www.ElderChicks.com
Visit our blog and join the conversation!
Posted By Kevin McConnaughay on Feb 18, 2011
The thing about blogging is that you need something to say. If you’re like me, you hear these made-up words like blogosphere and think two things: 1. “what can all these people possibly be talking about?” and 2. “blogosphere is a bizarre and nonsensical word.” While it’s true that there are way too many blogs for one person to follow, that doesn’t mean that you can write off blogs as a medium of expression. If you have something to say, people will listen.
For example, BoomerCafe.com is a blog designed by and for baby boomers. It’s constantly updated, features a pretty slick website, and publishes work from dozens of contributors. It’s pretty successful. The catch? It was launched 12 years ago. Who knew what a blog was in 1999? If somebody had suggested I check out the “Blog” 12 years ago, I would have told them, “I don’t like horror films.”
To me, this is an awesome example of staying power. I know, as I’m sure everyone else does by now (it’s hard to ignore) that boomers are increasingly more connected online. But 12 years ago? I know for a fact that my grandmother and all her sisters were not Facebook-fiends 12 years ago. So why did Boomer Cafe grow to what it is today?
Because boomers have something to say. They’re finding that online tools for communication are fun, and that they provide a place to vent, share, and embellish. I can’t tell stories about my wild youth like my grandpa can. I can’t share cultural memories like my Aunt can. I am, however, willing to listen. Now, more people are listening than ever before, and thankfully, more people are sharing as well.
So how can you say what you want to say? How can you share what’s important to you? Well, you could always start your own blog (check out blogs like changingaging and elderchicks for inspiration), you could take advantage of a built-in, directed community in a forum like The Age for Change: An E-Book for People 50+ at comingofage.org/ebook, or you could even explore sites like Facebook or Twitter, which Boomers are adopting in droves.
Janis Glenn for example, a consultant for Coming of Age, is a social media Rock Star, currently on Twitter, with plans to fire up her own “Glam-Mom” blog for “Feminist/Activist Grandmoms.” In my mind, while blogosphere is still a heinous word, overall it’s a pretty cool idea.
Posted By Kevin McConnaughay on Jan 7, 2011
I have absolutely never considered myself to be a “tech” guy. I’ve never been into gadgets or gizmos, not bothered to investigate what makes my magical computer-box tick, and had no plans to find out what sort of nerd-devilry powers the Internet. It’s not that I wasn’t curious or interested in technology; I’ve just always been focused on other stuff. However, since working at Coming of Age (CoA), an environment that seeks out the tech savvy, my interests and leisure pursuits have been completely up-ended.
For CoA, I’ve been tasked with a variety of social and online media tasks. The beginning of my term here also happened to coincide perfectly with the introduction of my first truly superfluous tech device. Knowing that I tend to read (slowly, granted) up to a dozen or so books at a time, my mother gave me an Amazon Kindle as a graduation present. This was apparently the perfect storm for me. Pretty soon I was badgering my computer programmer buddy with techie questions, chain-subscribing to gadgety e-newsletter lists, and gleefully rampaging through the Android App Store on a new phone that I hadn’t even made a call with yet.
This leads me to my central point: despite pitifully baseline knowledge of this kind of thing, I’ve had a blast learning about and using technology. Most recently, I’ve found myself supporting the online publication process for our brand new E-Book, The Age for Change. Web-wizard Sam Cohen did an awesome job setting up comingofage.org/ebook, and I’ve been fortunate enough to help out.
After putting the book’s contents on comingofage.org/ebook, I sold the rest of the team on the idea of having e-reader formats available. I can now confidently say that I know 100% more about e-reader files than I ever dreamed that I would, and have The Age for Change: An E-Book for People 50+ on no fewer than four different electronic book-reading devices. I’m up to my ears in gizmos, and I’m super stoked about it. I’m hoping to hear from those of you who are actually reading the e-book on one of these newfangled devices. As a convert, I like hearing from the choir.
Posted By Kevin McConnaughay on Nov 12, 2010
I had never heard of Germantown before slipping out of the office to check out Coming of Age’s Make a Big Difference Team there. There are presently 8 teams, recruited by area nonprofits with the support of Coming of Age, which combine the various skills of team members to tackle a specific project important to the nonprofit and the community. The Germantown team, specifically, is creating a new café, to become a hub of community life.
After a quick, but hair-raising (I’m still not used to this traffic), drive up 76, I was immediately struck by what the team was up against. Germantown Avenue is small, congested, and lined with abandoned lots and strip malls, and I got the impression that this was a community struggling to find its identity.
Cydney Williams, of Center in the Park, the local senior center and host organization of the Make a Big Difference Team (Cydney is the team coordinator) described to me the frustration of long-time residents. There are open spaces in the community—national treasures, colonial homes (including one used by George Washington during his presidency), famous residents, and a history of jazz. Center in the Park itself is located in a beautiful old building in the historic heart of the city. However, there’s also a real sense that Germantown’s been passed over and its history forgotten.
Luckily, there are still some members of the community who remember it as it once was—and luckier still, they’re determined to act. “There’s no fairy angel that’s going to come and save Germantown—it’s got to be us,” says Cydney, as she lays out the plan for me. The café project, led by the Make a Big Difference Team—which feels increasingly like DC Comics’ Justice League (a collection of animated superheroes) thanks to the drive and personal expertise of each member—will be an important step in making Germantown a destination location once again.
Sipping orange juice in a basement conference room in the local senior center, in the middle of a park, I surprise myself by increasingly tingling with excitement. These guys are serious! They’re capable, committed, enthusiastic, and adaptable (the space intended for the café is no longer available? Put the café on wheels!). This community needs a shot of adrenaline, and this team—mostly older, retired adults—is just the right choice to administer it.
I can’t wait to see how the café turns out. Barack Obama visited Germantown the day after I was there. I wonder whether he took the time to enjoy his surroundings, as our first President once did. With the community beginning to revitalize, and the Make a Big Difference Team taking a leadership role, I don’t think he’ll be able to resist next time.
Posted By Kevin McConnaughay on Sep 24, 2010
I swear that I have some kind of fever. As an AmeriCorps VISTA (that’s a Volunteer In Service To America), you’d think that perhaps I’d be getting my fill of volunteerism. I’m not even a regular volunteer—this is really my first serious shot at it. Suddenly, however, and without warning, I seem to have been bitten by that metaphorical bug which seems to nip people when they least expect it.
I attended a volunteer fair at City Hall in Philadelphia just a couple of weeks ago. It seems that as soon as I set foot there, under the welcoming watch of local heroes William Penn and the Philly Phanatic, I utterly lost myself. I ended up almost breathlessly racing around the tables, meeting new people, and signing up for countless email lists. When the dust settled, I realized that I might have made a few too many commitments.
A couple weeks passed, and I settled, more or less, back into my normal routine—we’ll call this a ‘dormancy period’ for my volunteer bug. When this past weekend rolled around, carrying with it a commitment to volunteer with “Street Games,” a local event from the Jon Drummond Foundation aimed at getting kids outside and active, I wasn’t feeling so motivated.
Happily, I believe in keeping commitments and it turns out that the volunteer bug does as well. I biked to “Street Games,” and wandered off for a day of four-square, foot races, and impromptu safety-cone bowling. I ended my shift exhausted but animated. It turns out that I needed “Street Games.” I needed to get out in the fresh air and cut loose for a day of unbridled fun with a bunch of kids, and I needed to meet all those welcoming and wonderful volunteers.
An interesting thing about this infection is that it doesn’t seem to leave; it picks up in intensity and spreads to those around you. I dragged along two fellow VISTAs to “Street Games,” and am already looking into ways to volunteer as a tutor. It’s those qualities (ironically the least favorable in other bugs), which make this a fever worth catching. It can help you meet lots of new friends, get out in your community, and even just have fun doing something you might not otherwise do. If you’re not a regular volunteer, I encourage you to talk to me at kmcconnaughay@comingofage.org—I’m highly contagious right now.
Posted By Kevin McConnaughay on Sep 13, 2010
My name is Kevin McConnaughay—not related to the actor, who misspells his name—and I am the new Americorps VISTA working in the Coming of Age national office in Philadelphia. I’m 22 years old, a recent graduate of Grinnell College, and an import to this community, having just spent four years in Nowhere, Iowa (not far from my home in Peoria, Illinois). The job that I’ve been asked to help with basically boils down to communications and marketing. It will be my mission for the next year to get the word out about the programs that Coming of Age runs and supports, as well as the philosophies that Coming of Age stands for.
In a new place, at a new job, I feel like time is flying by. I don’t want to stop and catch my breath yet, though—I’m too afraid I’ll miss something. So I’m chain-drinking coffee like it’s water and striving to adjust to the change of pace. Despite (or perhaps thanks in part to) my caffeine-induced jitters, I’m having a blast and loving this adventure. My purpose—the focal point of my new experience—is to help older adults find ways to utilize their treasure troves of personal resources to impact their communities, and I’m absolutely chomping at the bit to get to work. So, when Mady Prowler the Assistant Director at Coming of Age learned about my passion for writing and approached me about starting up my own blog, I was thrilled, pumped, jacked, and a number of other adjectives as well.
It wasn’t long before I hit a snag, though. It turns out that I don’t really know how to accomplish what I want to accomplish. How can I hope to serve older adults when I don’t know the first thing about the experiences they’ve had, their thoughts, or their goals? I realize that the most important thing I can do right now is to learn how things work and really try to connect with people who can help me.
Ideally, I’d love for this blog to become a space for conversation, where everybody, anybody, -- you--, can share experiences, impressions, opinions, and anything else on your mind. Most importantly, I need help answering all the questions I have. What changed for you after 50? What concerns occupy your thoughts? What do you wish you’d known at my age? Is there any wisdom or advice you could impart on this jittery kid caught in a whirlwind of new experiences?
Posted By Mady Prowler on Aug 26, 2010
Mady Prowler, Assistant Director
MECHANICSBURG, PA. I called Cynthia Morrow, a newly-minted
eighty year old, just after she had managed to pry out the back seat of her van parked near her cottage at Messiah Village. Messiah is a a continuing care retirement community in Mechanicsburg, PA; Cynthia was preparing for a solo trip to Virginia and the seat was just taking up too much room.
Kathy Silks, one of AARP Pennsylvania’s representatives on the Coming of Age: Central Pennsylvania Steering Committee, and an Explore Your Future trainer, had sent us a poem that Cynthia had written after taking part in the 4-session Explore Your Future workshop.
Continue Reading Write, Pack, Drive...Enjoy!
Posted By Dick Goldberg on Mar 20, 2010
LAS CRUCES, NM. I had thought that age 50+ civic engagement had two primary benefits: helping nonprofit organizations accomplish their missions and strengthening the sense of purpose for those 50+ who contributed their time and talent.
In Las Cruces, I learned about a third major pay-off.
I was there talking with representatives of two communities-- Las Cruces and nearby Alamogordo, people who ran senior centers and RSVPs and who were involved in the cultural lives of the two towns.
We were mapping out plans to present the Coming of Age “Capturing the Energy and Expertise of People 50+” Learning Lab and some other of the initiative’s programs, when the idea of how these activities could bring people together came up.
The energy in the room kicked up a notch.
We’re Going to Mix It Up
People had all sorts of ideas about how these programs would get together folks who don’t always interact so much with each other.
Citizens of the two communities themselves for sure. But also the Mexican and Anglo communities. And having people representing the arts mix it up with those involved with education and senior services and other kinds of community work.
The Law of Unintended Consequences is usually thought of in a bad way: "An intervention in a complex system that may or may not have the intended result, but will inevitably create unanticipated and often undesirable outcomes" is how Wikipedia puts it.
That wasn’t the way folks in New Mexico thought things would play out.
They were thinking not only would they end up with more compelling roles for people 50+ to play in local organizations, not only would they be building the capacity of those organizations and thereby creating a stronger Las Cruces and Alamogordo, but also that they would be helping knit the community together, tighter, closer, and richer in the most human sense of that term.
Unintended Consequences of the Good Kind
As I see our programs become part of more and more communities, it’s amazing to me how many of them have “unintended consequences of the good kind.”
How at our Boomervision! lectures, during the dialogue with the presenters, those under 50+ will say, “But I’m interested in legacy (or meaningful work or telling my story or whatever the topic is) too!”
How at our training sessions, executive directors and program managers say “We can apply these ideas to creating roles and cultivating all our volunteers—not just older ones.”
Is the work we’re doing to tap the resource that people 50+ represent, our anti-ageism and promotion of positive aging having some other “unintended consequence?”
Like helping connect people who otherwise are “siloed?” And empower people of all ages?
It sure looks like it to me.
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