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RICHMOND, VA.  I was one of the speakers here recently at a Symposium on Boomer Engagement.  The speaker who followed me was Dr. E. Ayn Welleford, a gerontologist who asked a provocative question:

“What kind of an older person do you want to be?”

The reason it was provocative is here we were talking about high energy, engaged people in their 50s and 60s and she was asking us to think beyond that time and see our 70s, 80s and 90s as places we were aiming for, and the near term as a means of getting there.

How Can I Age Optimally?

“Will I age well?” she asked us to ask ourselves. “How can I age optimally?” I really like the juxtaposition of “optimal” and “aging.” It suggests to me doing the best one can, not measuring oneself against some arbitrary standard.

By your 50s and 60s, Dr. Welleford suggested, it was likely most of us as we age would become “more so.” She wasn’t saying the die is cast, but that the likelihood of some major change in behavior, interests, or world view was not so great.

She also gave us some new language (well, new to me anyway):  “midlife evaluation.”  It’s a more accurate term, she suggested, than its predecessor, “midlife crisis”—so frenetically depicted in that Bruce Dern movie, Middle Age Crazy." And it used to occur, or so they said,  in your 40s.

Gentlemen—and Ladies—Start Your Mulling

But now that many of us are living longer, it does make sense that whatever-it-is that would happen, happens a little later too, and I like the thoughtful tone of "evaluation" instead of the frenzy of "crisis" or "crazy."

I think I could manage that.  And I think I am— evaluating— which does seem like an appropriate activity to pursue before tackling the question, “What kind of an elder do I want to be?”

It’s nice that (some of us think) we have a say in the matter.

Am I destined (condemned?) to become "more so?"

What about unrealized dreams? 

How do I make what-I-never-did into what-I-have-yet-to-do?

Clearly, the mulling has only just begun.