Seven Steps to Take When Older Parents Need Help With Living Options

by Annabelle Harris, elders.center

Image by pexels

What do you do when one of your parents needs nursing home care and the other one doesn’t? Adjusting to this change can be difficult for both you and your parents, and you’ll need all the help that you can get. Keep reading for tips on how to make this transition easier.

  1. Consider Selling Their Home

Care for aging loved ones does not come cheap. If you are looking for an assisted living facility in New York, expect to pay well above the national average (which is $2,877 monthly). These facilities charge around $4,100 per month. And if your loved one needs additional care, the monthly average cost of nursing home care in New York is approximately $14,082.

To free up funds, consider selling your parent’s home if you need help to pay for care that requires them to move from their home to such facilities. To calculate the home’s equity, subtract the remaining mortgage balance from the current value of their home.

  1. Sell Their Business

If your parents can’t properly manage their business, help them sell it. The first step is to get the business finances in order, including any outstanding liabilities. It’s also crucial to have trusted advisors who can give competent advice as selling a business can be complex. Experienced professionals can help you navigate the process and make informed decisions.

For example, working with a valuation expert is critical in helping you understand the current market value of your parents’ business. Valuation factors to consider include all assets, including inventory and real estate. The expert will also evaluate potential growth, revenue trends, location, staff, and competitive advantage.

  1. Choose the Right Care Facility

It’s important to conduct your own research when selecting a location for your loved one. If they are able, get them involved in the process, too. However, it can be very stressful for individuals with memory loss to discuss these sorts of transitions, so choose their involvement level with care.

Schedule a visit to observe the community and talk to some of the staff. If it is a nursing home or higher care facility, check whether residents are well groomed and ask about activities. If possible, choose a community close to home so you don’t have to travel far for visits or emergencies.

  1. Find Out How to Pay for Skilled Nursing

Retirement savings and money from the sale of their home can be used to pay for your parent’s nursing home care. Veterans’ benefits and Medicaid can also pay for assisted living, so long as your parent qualifies for it. If they’re not planning on selling their home, they can consider getting a reverse mortgage to pay for senior living. Should they decide to borrow money, you must make sure your parents can repay the loan.

  1. Find a Smaller Home

One of them may likely feel lonely when living alone in a large house. Consider purchasing a smaller home for them, especially if their current home requires frequent maintenance. By downsizing, they can use the extra funds to pay for your other parent’s nursing home care. You can also help them to find an apartment, which will require no upkeep for them. It can potentially also save them money that can be put towards long-term care when they need it. Apartments around New York start at around $3,000 per month, so consider your finances carefully before moving your loved one.

  1. Stay Compassionate

Caring for your elderly parents can be frustrating, but you should always be patient and compassionate. Show them you understand what they’re going through and that you’ll always be there for them. Don’t be afraid to also ask for help from your relatives to lessen the burden.

  1. Set Up Home Care

When considering setting up home care for an aging parent, it’s essential to start by evaluating their specific needs. Determine if they require assistance with daily living activities, such as bathing, dressing, and grooming, or if they need medical care. Next, research the different home care options available to determine which is most suitable for their needs. Many states offer programs that provide financial assistance for in-home care for seniors who meet certain eligibility criteria. Additionally, long-term care insurance policies can also help cover costs of home care.


If these aren’t an option, there are other ways to fund home care, such as through reverse mortgages or personal savings. It’s important to weigh the costs and benefits of each option and work with a financial advisor to establish a viable plan. Investing in reputable and trustworthy caregivers or home care agencies is crucial as well to ensure the safety and well-being of the aging parent.

Transitioning Successfully

Helping your loved one transition into senior living can be a difficult process. Selling your parents’ home or business can ease the financial burden on both parents if one requires assisted living care. It may take time to find buyers and look for the right nursing home, so it’s best to get started as soon as possible. Remember, this is an important stage of your loved one’s life. Handle these decisions with care and involve them as much as possible to make the transition successful.